Benefitting a child’s confidence and self-esteem

Working outdoors, therapeutically, with children can help them develop physical and emotional skills, developing their resilience to tackle  challenges that previously have left them feeling defeated.

I have been involved in delivering this type of work for a considerable number of years and have seen many children move from being fearful of engaging with new challenges to becoming braver and more confident to tackle them.

Inevitably, with this kind of work, there will be demonstrations of ‘unhelpful behaviours’ along the way. However, generally there are fairly clear signs that provide indications of potential dysregulation. This helps the Practitioner provide effective ‘scaffolding’ that is going to support beneficial change.

Progression towards self-actualisation does take time. Regular weekly sessions, over a few months, can nurture development of inner confidence and self-esteem, week by week, building on previous small successes; a therapeutic pathway that delivers reward for both child and Practitioner.

Want to deliver this kind of outdoor-based work?

At Outdoor Tribe we run Accredited training for people interested in using their outdoor space to work with children who, due to a variety of reasons are not currently in school. However, the need to establish why a child is not in school is of pararmount importance because there is going to be a considerable difference in approach needed when working with a child who is experiencing generalised anxiety and a child who has suffered considerable trauma,

To engage with children who have suffered  trauma in their lives requires not only for the Practitioner to have an understanding of how trauma affects children, but also a good understanding of the realities to consider when working ‘without walls’. I hope the following blog post will be helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you’re interested in learning more about the training opportunities we offer.

Working therapeutically with traumatised children

The child who has experienced neglect in their early, formative years (physical and/or psychological) can present with complex trauma-related issues that make them much more challenging to interact with, particularly in relation to unpredictability. To explain, briefly, a ‘neglected’ child’s core ‘self’ will have been shaped by the trauma they have experienced, effecting a generalised sense of worthlessness.

Such children will have developed neural pathways that deliver negative predictions concerning the world and their place in it. Their ‘map’ of the world is going to be very different than what might be considered ‘normal’, resulting in demonstration of behaviours which do not seem to follow recognised patterns that might usually be expected.

With traumatised children, their core beliefs can be extremely challenging to change and working towards effecting change requires an elevated level of persistence and dedication on the part of the Practitioner.

Experience of early-life trauma can result in the child displaying extreme behaviours that can often, seemingly, come out of nowhere. In real terms, this means that a child carrying early-life trauma can demonstrate behaviours that not only put themselves at risk, but also others around them.

The behaviour of a child with early-life (developmental) trauma is very likely to be what might be expected of a child much younger than their chronological age.  Even well-educated, trauma-informed adults supporting such a child can be surprised by extreme negative reactions to what would normally be considered neutral or even positive ‘happenings’.

Trying to second-guess the ‘cues’ for dysregulation in a child who has experienced early-life trauma is more likely to be unsuccessful than not and there is often a move from level 1 to level 2 dysregulation in seconds. It also needs to be remembered that, even in a safe setting or when a traumatised child is with people they feel ‘safe’ with, they may suddenly react in extreme ways that can put themselves and others at risk of harm.

Working with traumatised children requires much higher levels of patience and perseverence than you might first imagine.

Why a traumatised child can struggle with self-regulation

Most children acquire at least some self-regulation skills in their very early years, before they begin school. However, the child who has experienced neglect, resulting in developmental trauma, is most unlikely to have developed self-regulation. 

When children experience a lack of care/love they can develop feelings of shame; their sense of self becoming influenced by a belief they are intrinsically ‘bad’ and unworthy. So, the child with developmental trauma will be ‘wired’ subconsciously to feel ‘unsafe’. It is no wonder then that their expressions of anger and frustration loom large, while the ability for self-regulation remains out of sight, far beyond the horizon.

To explain this a little further, a child learns to manage stress whilst still an infant, through their relationships with what are called “attachment figures”. If the caregiver(s) neglect the child’s physical or psychological needs, the child is likely to be negatively affected (it’s not rocket science). 

Now, I’m not going to get into the argument for picking up or not picking up an infant every time it cries, but essentially, what an infant learns is ‘worthiness’, that comes through feeling loved. Feeling loved comes through having ‘needs’ met.

The normal course of events, in relation to child development, is as follows. When an infant feels disconnected (e.g. alone and crying in its cot), the child learns that the disconnection is brief, followed by ‘repair’ (the adult eventually responding to the child in a way that supports their physical and emotional needs). This is the process through which the child develops a secure attachment to the adult (they are there for them).

When the caregiver provides a predictable environment, where the child feels ‘loved’, safe and understood, the child grows in confidence to ‘explore’ because they know they have a secure person to return to for comfort (e.g. when they fall over or feel frightened by something). Such security helps the child develop self-regulation. 

If a child hasn’t experienced secure attachment and has developed fear and anxiety, linked with their physical and emotional needs not being met, then the way their brain develops is going to be adversely affected.

If an adult caregiver fails to fulfil the needs of their child, then that child’s baseline, physiological arousal becomes ‘wired’ to pick up on fear of uncertainty. Over time, ‘fear’ becomes an entrenched response to anything the child perceives as an uncertainty, often resulting in the child becoming hyper-vigilant and always on alert for possible danger. Even in situations where no real threat exists the fight or flight response can be triggered – seemingly, out of nowhere.

Not only is this challenging for the adults trying to support a traumatised child, but the persisting ‘survival’ mode they are in, impacts on development of positive learning and also social learning aspects of their life. The child who has become extremely reactive to stimuli, fuelled by responses via unhelpful, established neural pathways laid down in infancy, is the child who is likely to be at considerable disadvantage throughout life if ‘changes’ cannot be effected.

For practitioners working with a child who has experienced early-life trauma, there is a need for a working knowledge of appropriate neuroscience-based interventions. This is crucial, as dysregulation in such children is more often than not beyond the child’s conscious control, with them simply responding to what their brains perceive as a threat, which may seem ‘unreasonable’ to others trying to support them. The traumatised child can often exhibit behaviours that provide little in the way of signals beforehand, indicating ‘dysregulation’.